on youtube, concerts and anxiety

December 2, 2013

it is no secret that i spend a lot of my time on youtube. it just sort of happens. i’ll go to watch justone video and then before i know it i will have no idea what happened to the previous four hours of my life. i need you to believe me when i say that only about 10% of my youtube rabbit holes actually start with a one direction video but 100% of them end with a one direction video. it is the only place rabbit holes lead, naturally.

but that is neither here nor there. most of my youtube rabbit hole time is dedicated to watching live performances of my favorite artists. lately i have not been able to get enough of watching bastille work their acoustic magic all over the place. or just their magic in general, really. because seriously THAT VOICE.

so imagine how excited i was to discover they were performing for just $9 in salt lake on december 2. oh, i snatched those tickets up so fast. but also here’s a fun fact about me: i often forget that i have really weird and intense anxieties about being in crowds. especially concert crowds. unless it is the kind of concert with plenty of lawn space to sprawl out with wine or one with assigned seating (thank god one direction will be), i just can’t do it. and it wasn’t until i woke up this morning that it finally occurred to me that going to a sold out $9 concert sounded like my actual nightmare. so i spent all day trying my hardest to keep the anxiety at bay and praying that my roommate would be able to help me rise to the challenge. but even she wasn’t excited at the idea of fighting a crowd of 18 year olds for a concert that started at 8pm (which total side note but since fucking when do concerts start at 8pm?! don’t these people know how hard that is for me??) and basically that was when i knew we were toast. we never did make it to see bastille tonight.

which is a damn shame because i really love live music.

so now i’m back to watching bastille videos on youtube and i feel mostly okay with it.

anxiety is weird.